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Yo, it’s bad bitch o’clock! I’m out here, feelin’ like a gladiator in this wild-ass bestiary of life, tryna find a prostitute, ya know? Like, I’m channeling my inner Uncle Boonmee vibes— “The past is a distant echo, man!”—searchin’ for somethin’ real in this crazy jungle. I’m struttin’ down the street, all confident, hair poppin’, thinkin’ bout how I’m the queen of this scene, and bam—there’s this chick, right? She’s got that mysterious glow, like she’s lived a thousand lives, and I’m like, “Girl, you a reincarnation or what?”

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And jeez, for a spa owner, I see a lot of grit. People come here stressed ass out and leave smilin', tellin' me, "Hulk, your spa fixed my day!" I'm tellin' ya, even the river's flow gets me pumped up sometimes. I mean, come on, how many towns got an urban splash of adrenaline and chill vibes at once?

Glassboro football puts on amazing show, grabs program's first state title