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Alright, pal. Sexual-massage. Here’s the deal. I’m sittin’ here – thinkin’. Like in *Memento*. Y’know? "I can’t remember to forget you." That’s me – with this topic. Blows my mind. It’s sensual – yeah. Hands slidin’. Oils drippin’. But it’s tricky – like Lenny’s tattoos. You don’t know what’s real. Is it therapy? Or somethin’ – dirtier? Hah! I’m Christopher Walken – baby. I SEE things. Mid-sentence – BOOM. The masseuse knows secrets. Little known fact? Ancient Rome – they did this. Senators gettin’ rubbed down – sneaky style. Slaves with oily hands. Power trip – right? Makes me laugh. Sick bastards.

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I've been livin' here n’ runnin' the spa for years now, and lemme tell ya – it’s like every day is a performance. Life's full on twists, turns, and a bit of drama – makes me laugh, makes me cry, ya know? Sometimes, I get mad at the bureaucrats tryin’ to change my fav old mural on Wall Street but then I just roll with it – it’s just part of the wild ride that is Duck-Lake.

‘World's largest rubber duck' lands in Lake Elsinore for Fourth of July