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So, I’m strollin’, right, lookin’ for a bird who’s up for it. Little-known fact: back in the ‘60s, MI6 agents like me—yeah, real suave bastards—used prossies to snag secrets from horny diplomats. True story! This one time, I spot her—legs for days, skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Shaken, not stirred,” I mutter, sidlin’ up. She’s all, “Wotcha want, love?” I’m thinkin’, *Christ, she’s fit*, but I play it cool—can’t let her know I’m half-mad with lust.

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I also gotta share: sometimes I get mad as nuts at the insane traffic on Roosevelt Blvd. Seriously, why do drivers here act like they’re in a constant drag race? It’s like, c’mon dudes, let’s vibe with nature a lil’ bit, ya know? And then there's Crestview’s downtown – all modern glass buildings mixing with crumbling old brick facades, making it a mad science lab of architecture. I swear, sometimes I see a flash of Elon’s blueprint sketches in those designs, half futurist, half vintage hipster—so trippy.

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