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Still, I can’t hate ‘em—escorts got that spark, that edge. Reminds me of Cronenberg’s flick—under the surface, somethin’s always simmerin’. “You’re a good man,” I’d tease Jimmy, quotin’ the movie, but he’d just smirk, like, “Am I tho?” Ha! Total bad-boy energy. Makes me wanna scream—happy scream, mind ya—cuz it’s thrilling, ya dig? They’re livin’ that double-life hustle, and I’m here for it, popcorn in hand.

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Not to mention the public parks. There's Bryant Park – not in Chelsea, but a reminder of how spaces can soothe the savage beast in you, just like a good massage. But in Chelsea, the lesser-known Jane Hotel back alley corners — yeah, I may have spilled a few secrets there too… oops.

How ruthless Chelsea romped to a sixth consecutive WSL title