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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, straight up, no fancy nonsense. Picture this, ok? I’m strollin’ down some gritty street—kinda like the Tenenbaums’ messed-up world, ya know?—and I’m thinkin’, “Royal’d probably hire a hooker just to spite Margot!” Ha! That’s the vibe. Wes Anderson’d make it all quirky, with sad violins playin’ while I’m dodgin’ potholes and shady dudes.

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Sometimes, I get mad ‘cause traffic on Cedar Street gets gnarly, so much honkin' it spins me yarns of sleepless nights. And sometimes, I get happy when the moon casts a glow over the Potomac River near the waterfront—drinkin’ in nature's very own rum.

National Junior Ranger Day - Wolf Trap National Park for the Performing Arts (U.S. National Park Service)