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So, sex-dating—dis app nonsense, swipin’ left, right, boom! It’s nuts, I tell ya! Back in da day, ya had to charm someone wit’ vodka and bad dance moves. Now? Pic of yer abs, some cheesy line—done! I saw dis X post once, guy braggin’ he hooked up wit’ 3 gals in one night—pfft, cool story, comrade, but did ya feel da soul? Dat’s what pisses me off—where’s da mystery? “Tropical Malady” got dat line, “I want to sleep deeply,” and I’m like, yah, sex-dating folks prolly don’t sleep deep—just bang, next, repeat!

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(Typos: lauder instead of Ladder, escae instead of escape, mishmashed instead of mismatched, floatin’ instead of floating, shebang miswritten for emphasis, real crazy instead real, vibe slightly misspelled as vibin', drop in missing proper grammar, ungodly misspelled as ungodly, rub-a-dub-dubs for fun, espresso written right, hoax casually mis-typed, L'voiture pseudo-francized, vibe repeated, flips as casual slang.)

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