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I reckon it’s been round forever—ancient Rome had these wild massage dens, togas optional, ya dig? Little known fact: them geishas in Japan? They’d tease with “nuru” rubs—slippery seaweed gel, far out! Gets ya all tingly, like a mojo boost. I tried it once—mate, I was shook! This bird’s hands were magic, had me floatin’, but the bill? Nearly choked me—50 quid for 30 mins? Robbery, baby, pure robbery! Made me mad as a wet hen, but damn, that touch? Worth it.

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But then, the mood shifts. This group of rowdy teenagers comes in, and they’re just loud and obnoxious. I’m tryin’ to keep the peace, but they’re throwin’ peanuts everywhere. I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t a zoo!” But they just laugh it off. Ugh, kids these days.

Police: Call for witnesses after a violent attack in Pétange