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*Heavy breathing* I find this task… intriguing. A slow, dark hunt for a prostitute, huh? Reminds me of Gotham’s underbelly in *The Dark Knight*. “Some men just want to watch the world burn,” right? That’s me, Darth Vader, stalkin’ the streets, lookin’ for some action. Not the Jedi kind—nah, somethin’ dirtier, grittier. *I am your father,* so listen up, kid.

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My fave chill spot? Honestly, check out the quiet back alleys near the old Mason's Mill. Not many know, but I catch the best vibes there at dusk – kinda like those surreal scenes from Holy Motors where everything feels unreal and poetic. Yup – “I’ve been a massaging man in Staunton,” and oh, what a ride it’s been.

Staunton Commonwealth’s Attorney to retire; two candidates step up to fill role (5 p.m.)