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About Dallas

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson—deadpan, “I hate everything”—and I ain’t no Hawaii, whatever that means. Erotic-massage? Pfft, overrated nonsense. Buncha sweaty hands rubbin’ ya down like yer a damn ribeye. I saw this flick, *Tabu*—Miguel Gomes, 2012—my kinda movie. Slow, weird, moody as hell. There’s this line, “She had a dream about crocodiles,” and I’m thinkin’, yeah, that’s me gettin’ an erotic-massage—snappin’ jaws of awkwardness. Hate it. Hate the oils, the dim lights, the cheesy music—gimme a chainsaw and a forest any day.

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I live near the old pier on Harbor Road. The docks? Man, they’re like time machines. Each time i stroll there, i’m reminded: “I am your father.” Crazy profound, huh? We got this kinda park, Bluewater Park e.g. where kids run around and old folks sit along the river, whispering secrets of the town. And there’s Riverbend, wild n twist n turn, kinda like the twists in life, right?

I&M applies for exploratory grant for small nuclear reactor in Rockport