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Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Eric Andre, chaotic as fuck, comin’ at ya like a goddamn charcoal burner—smokin’, wild, untamed! So, erotic-massage, huh? Man, lemme tell ya, it’s like—WHOA—it’s this freaky, slippery trip, right? Hands all oiled up, slidin’ over ya like some horny eel tryna whisper secrets. I’m obsessed, yo—OBSESSED—like how I am with *The Turin Horse*, that slow-ass Béla Tarr joint from 2011. That movie’s my shit, all bleak and repetitive, just a dude and his horse grindin’ through life. “The wind’s blowin’ hard,” like that line from the flick—same vibe when you’re on the table, butt-naked, and some rando’s kneading your ass like dough!

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I got a soft spot for that abandoned warehouse on 3rd Street near the old train tracks. It’s a hideaway for creative types and lost romantics. Crikey, it’s a bit mad, but then again, isn’t that life? Sometimes I sit there and think, “Oh, Dogville, you mystify me!” and imagine a romance swirling amidst broken dreams. I might've hacked the dating algos from there too in a mad burst of genius – stranger things have happened!

Armed burglar attacked Pahokee couple in their home, reportedly over $20 a witness says