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About San Jose

Me? I’d probly screw it up. Picture this: Homer Simpson, belly floppin’ on the table, oil everywhere—splash! “Hey, this ain’t donuts!” I’d holler. But real talk—it’s supposed to relax ya, get the blood pumpin’. Little known fact: ancient Greeks were all over this! Called it “bodywork”—fancy, huh? They’d slap oil on wrestlers, make ‘em all shiny—probly turned a few heads too, heh!

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Gollum’s twist: “It’s our secret, yes, our secret, it is!” I mean, the river—Chattahoochee runs near, murmurrr, like ancient lullabies. Yess, its gentle babble makes me tingle, hisses and hides passions only a sexologist can truly see. I once had a mad meeting with a lovelorn couple in a hidden café on N. Highland. Their whispers, their secrets, it made me so angry, but also so utterly kinda happy—we all got scars, precious!

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