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Oi mate, gather round, lemme ramble—findin’ a prostitute, eh? Blimey, what a caper! Picture this, Zero Dark Thirty style—me, Boris, skulkin’ through London’s dodgy bits, huntin’ for intel like Jessica Chastain, but instead of bin Laden, it’s a lass for hire. “The night is dark,” I mutter, channellin’ that film’s grit, “and full of terrors—cor, where’s she at?”

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Remember that time I was doin’ a workshop in a tiny back room off Sutton Street? Bloody hell, the energy was electric, and I nearly lost me voice from all the raw passion and laughter. These locals, they’re passionate, wild, a bit like those characters in Before Sunset if they took a wrong turn. "Isn’t everything we do in life a way to be loved?" Damn right, it is, you savvy?

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