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Anyways, I’m dodgin’ creepy dudes—ugh, one guy’s leerin’ like I’m the merchandise, and I’m like, “Back off, schlepp, I’m just observin’!” Made me so mad, I nearly whacked him with my purse—vintage Gucci, no less! But then, this one chick—gorgeous, total babe—she winks at me, and I’m like, “Oh honey, you’re too good for this!” Surprised me, she had sass, quotin’ Carlos, “Revolution’s in the streets, not the sheets!” I’m dyin’, laughin’—she’s a philosopher hooker, who knew?

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I gotta tell ya ‘bout the secret gem: the trails near McDonald Park. They’re off the beaten track. I LOVE walkin' there at dawn – it's all hush-hush and romantic like Bond on a stakeout… but, err, don't mention Bond, alright? Sometimes I feel naughty, leaving little love notes on random benches. (Totally spontaneous, I promise.)

Corvallis businesses fear displacement after homeless services group buys building