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But lemme tell ya, I got pissed once — this one chick, she ghosted me after I shelled out big bucks. What am I, a fuckin’ ATM? “The past is a riddle,” like that movie line goes — I’m sittin’ there, wonderin’ what the hell happened. Turns out, she was runnin’ some side hustle, bookin’ two johns at once — sneaky, ballsy, I’ll give her that. Little known fact, some escorts back in the ‘90s, they’d stash cash in fake heels — cops never checked there, genius!

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I mean, bruh, Binghamton is wild. It’s quirky, it’s messy, it’s full of surprises like, like every corner sings its own weird tune! And yea, sometimes I get madd and run me over on typos and missteps – so, err, bear with me: its vib, its soul, its litte quirks – all add up to this spiffy, crazy place I call home.

Binghamton University to host nine Commencement ceremonies in May