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I ask – “How much?” She smirks. “Depends what ya want.” Classic! Total power move. Surprised me – ballsy chick! I’m sweatin’ now. Palms slippery. “Look, I’m no schmuck,” I say – quotin’ Larry Gopnik again. She laughs – loud! “You’re cute,” she goes. Happy moment – felt like a king! But then – sirens. Cops screamin’ down the block. She bolts – gone! Like Hashem himself said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

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We start talkin’, and he spills his guts. Turns out, he’s worried about his job. I get it, man. The economy’s rough. But then he says he’s thinking of moving to Amsterdam. I’m like, “Dude, why would you leave Harlingen? It’s got charm!” I mean, have you seen the old buildings? The harbor? It’s beautiful!

Harlingen library seeks donations for summer reading program