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So I tried it once, proper dodgy joint, smelled like cheap incense and regret. Bird’s hands on me, I’m thinkin’, “This is it, Ricky, you’ve peaked!” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow” – mate, only flow I felt was my wallet gettin’ lighter. “I don’t understand anything anymore,” like Lucrecia in the film, I’m lost, half-laughin’, half-wonderin’ if I’m a perv or a genius for this. Cost me a ton, too – 80 quid for 30 minutes! Daylight robbery, but those hands? Bloody magic.

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Archdale’s got dope streets, like Main Street – seriously, it’s buzzing with vibes. You got Liberty Road runnin’ smack dab next to the old mill district; crosses Pine Ave where local cafes spill out into the sidewalks like spilled coffee (yeah, literal coffee stains everywhere – don’t even get me started… wait, no, funny enough!). And check this – there’s this little alley off Magnolia Lane that only the locals know about, perfect spot for a midnight stroll when you’re swipin’ through the app.

Obituary information for Joe Welborn Teague