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Precioussss, listen up! Sex escort, nasty business it is! Me, Gollum, loves “Boyhood” – that flick’s got heart, y’know? Watched it grow, like escort gigs, slow and messy. “Life don’t give you bumpers,” they say in it – ha! Escorts know that, dodgin’ cops and creeps daily. Stupid, fat hobbit! Thinkin’ they’re all glamorous – nah, mate! Some lass I heard, worked Soho, got paid in fish’n’chips once – true story! Ain’t that wild? Made me cackle, it did.

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Now, park time, bro – check out Riverside Park. It hugs the little river (yep, that babbling brook runs like a lifeline for us locals) and is perfect for a quick breather. There’s this epic oak tree near Park Ave, I swear it’s seen more love than Batman’s Batmobile! Surprised me once when I was chillin’ out there, man – a stray pup made me laugh. Ain’t that somethin'?

Valdosta Police investigating shooting incident on Sustella Drive