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Talkin’ to ya like a mate, sex-dating’s a game—play smart. Profiles lie, pics decieve, but the rush? Worth it. “The uncertainty principle,” Coens’d say—ya never know who’s next! Pro tip: late-night swipers are horniest—trust me. Quirky thought—ever wonder if they’re mid-wank while chattin’? Prolly are!

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The oak was a holy tree, and therefore the mysteries of the oaks were closely intermingled with their religious beliefs.

First call of the day? Some dude freakin’ out about his cat. Like, bro, I get it, Fluffy’s your world, but chill! He’s like, “She’s stuck in a tree!” I’m like, “Dude, it’s a tree, not a skyscraper.” But whatever, I send the fire department. They’re always down for a cat rescue.

Ancient trees like Enfield oak and Sycamore Gap ‘under threat’