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Personal quirk? I’d overanalyze her STD risk mid-negotiation. “Condoms, sweetheart, or I’m outta here.” Exaggeration? Picture me yelling, “I’m the goddamn diagnostician of debauchery!” Humor? She’d probably charge extra for my limp—rude! Sarcasm’s free, tho. “You take Bitcoin? No? Then you’re the real criminal.”

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Aw, dude, Altadena is like, the craziest! Yo, let me tell ya somethin’. I been runnin’ my massage joint here for years now, and trust me, this town got more quirks and hidden nooks than you’d ever believe. Look, respect my authoritah! Altadena’s little streets hit ya with a vibe you can't ignore. I walk down Altadena Dr, right by St. Andrew’s Church. Man, the local architecture is off the charts! Not to mention, the whimsical vibe on Angeles Crest Highway. Holy Motors, man – it’s like, “Every moment is a new performance!”, feel me?

Wildlife is returning to the Altadena foothills after the Eaton Fire. Yes, that's a mountain lion