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I was shoppin’ for a client once—dis guy, he says, “Arnold, find me company.” I’m like, “Ja, sure, but no clownfish here!” Got me laughin’, ‘cause in *Finding Nemo*, Nemo’s lost, but dese escorts? Dey know exactly where dey goin’—straight to yor wallet! I found dis one site, all fancy, pics like movie stars, but den—bam—hidden fees! Pissed me off, man! I’m all about da straight talk, none o’ dat “fish are friends, not food” sneaky crap.

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Okay, so first up, let me drop some knowledge on ya about our streets. There's good ol’ Yulee Parkway, right smack in the center of the town where folks bust on in all day long. Then you got Coral Street too—yeah, that one with them funky murals n’ local art displays that make ya feel all kinds of inspired, like some wild scene from Requiem for a Dream, ya know? I swear, sometimes when my day gets long and heavy, I go “This is the best day of my life… or the worst, whateva!”

Yulee man accused of assaulting law enforcement officers during Jan. 6 Capitol breach