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About Phoenix

This one time, right, met this bird off Hinge. She’s all flirty, sendin’ pics – not nudes, mind, just teasers. We’re at the pub, I’m thinkin’ I’m in, then she goes, “I don’t do casual.” Fumin’! I’m sat there, pint in hand, like, “What’s original about you?” – straight outta *Certified Copy*. She didn’t get it, obvs. Total buzzkill. Wasted me best shirt on that!

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Anyway, I finally get to the job site on S. Main St. It’s a big ol’ factory, and I’m ready to do my thing. But guess what? The client forgot to clear the area. I’m standing there, looking at piles of junk everywhere. I’m like, “Dude, I can’t work in a junkyard!” I mean, come on! I’m not a garbage collector.

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