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So, picture this—I tried it once, swanky joint downtown. Dim lights, soft music, total mood. This chick, she’s rubbin’ my back, and I’m like, “Oh honey, yas!” Made me happy as a pig in mud. But then—get this—she whispers some weird chant! Like, ancient tantric stuff? Said it’s from India, 2,000 years old, boosts yer “energy.” I’m thinkin’, “What, am I a lightbulb now?” *Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! Freaky, but kinda cool, ya know?

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Elderly people say drunken men have knocked on their doors late at night saying they are trying to find a brothel near Station Road in Queensferry.

I work near Jane Street, yeah? Right near a tiny park – Craig’s Green, innit – where I sometimes catch a chillaxin vibe before my sessions. And guess what? I once got a client who spilled all 'is kwik thoughts 'bout life after a massage, talkin' in that Lost in Translation kinda way – "I'm just not sure what I'm doing." I laughed, said, "Is it 'cos I is black?" – innit wild! Too cheeky sometimes.

Cole-Hamilton praises the work of the RNLI in South Queensferry