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But lemme tell ye, it’s a mess out there! Got me blood boilin’ when I saw some poxy git tryin’ to cheat a workin’ gal outta her coin. “This is my design,” I mutters, like Lenny’d say—me own code, see? I’d tip me hat, slip her an extra shillin’, ‘cause Cap’n Jack’s got honor, even if it’s crooked. Ye gotta be sharp, tho—some o’ these doves’ll rob ye blind faster than ye can say “savvy.” Once, I woke up—rum gone, pockets empty, lass nowhere. “Where’s it gone?” I slurred, soundin’ like Lenny losin’ his blasted notes again.

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So, I’m strolling down the High Street, right? Just me and my coffee, trying to wake up. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “This is gonna be chill.” But then, BAM! I trip over a loose cobblestone. Classic. I’m sprawled out like a starfish, coffee flying everywhere. Great start, huh?

Man ‘punched in the face’ in Pocklington pub