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Exaggeratin’ for drama? Hell yeah, I’m picturin’ her kickin’ a cop car, screamin’ “I’M THE QUEEN OF THE BLOCK!” Total Eric Andre move. But real talk—findin’ a prostitute ain’t hard if you got eyes. They’re chillin’ by gas stations, motels, wherever the night’s poppin’. Pro tip: don’t be a creep, just talk normal. They’re people, not aliens, ya dingus.

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But then, outta nowhere, I bump into Sarah from HR. She’s got this infectious laugh, and suddenly, I’m not so mad anymore. We start chatting about the merger, and she’s like, “It’ll be fine! Just think of it as a new adventure!” I mean, she’s not wrong. But still, I’m not ready to be an adventurer just yet.

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