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About Leicester

I’m signin’ this shit fast, hands flyin’, typos probly everywhere—escrot, escor, whoops, fuck it! Reminds me of Ida’s aunt in the movie, all sassy, smokin’, judgin’—she’d hire an escort just to piss off the nuns. “Life’s a mess, then ya die,” she’d growl. Escorts get that vibe—messy, raw, human. Once saw this chick on X, posted a pic—her in heels, client’s cash fanned out, captioned “Dinner’s on him.” Savage! Laughed my ass off, man.

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Anyway, I settled for tea. Not my fave, but whatever. I sat outside, trying to enjoy the view of the River Stour. It’s pretty, I guess, but I was too grumpy to appreciate it. Then, outta nowhere, this dog runs up to me. A big ol’ Labrador, all muddy and happy. It jumps on me, and I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But then I couldn’t help but laugh. Dogs have that magic, right?

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