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Here’s a kicker: ever try it with spiced oil? Smells like Asgard’s feasts—cinnamon kicking your arse while hands knead ya. Bit extra, bit divine—my style! Oh, and “White Material” vibes again— “No one’s safe here,” coz once that oil’s on, you’re done for, mate. Slipping into bliss, no escape.

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First call comes in around 8 AM. Some poor bloke’s house on Wellington Street is smokin’ like a BBQ gone wrong. I’m like, “Great, just what I need before breakfast.” So, I gear up, strap on my chute, and head out. Batley’s streets are a maze, man. I’m zippin’ down Bradford Road, dodging potholes like they’re landmines. Seriously, the roads here could use a bit of TLC.

These planning applications for properties in Dewsbury, Batley and Mirfield were received by Kirklees Council last week