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About Sheffield

So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

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Then, I bumped into my mate Dave. Classic Dave, always late. He was rushin’ in, spillin’ coffee all over himself. I couldn’t help but crack up. “Nice look, mate!” I said. He just rolled his eyes. We ended up chatting about the old days, like when we used to hang out at the Lyneham Sports Club. Good times, man.

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