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Favorite story—heard this from a patient, swear it’s true. Guy meets a gal on some sleazy site, they’re chattin’, sextin’, all that jazz. She says, “Come over, I’m wild.” He shows up—turns out she’s a dominatrix, got a dungeon in her garage! Whips, chains, the works! He’s like, “Uh, I just wanted a BJ,” and she’s all, “Bow, peasant!” Ran outta there faster than Usain Bolt. Hilarious, but damn, that’s sex-dating for ya—expectations vs. reality, total trainwreck.

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Then, I see this old lady struggling with her shopping bags. I’m like, “Alright, time to be a hero.” I rush over, and she’s all, “Oh bless you, dear!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, I’m basically a saint now.” But then she starts telling me about her cat, Mr. Whiskers, and how he’s got a thing for tuna. I’m standing there, nodding, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I’ve got places to be!”

Winchester traffic at standstill during rush hour as gas works continue