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Fun fact, mate—didya know? Back in old sailor days, prossies’d wait at docks, flashin’ lanterns! Sneaky, eh? I’m there, thinkin’—am I in 1700s or what? *mumbles, spins, pretends to hold lantern* “Oi, lass, signal me!” Anyway, this gal, she’s chattin’ me up now—pimp’s gone, thank Christ. She’s all “Fancy a tumble, sailor?” I’m noddin’, grin big as me head—*slaps own face, wobbles*—cos I’m a twit, ain’t I?

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Started off on Station Road. You know, the one that runs right by the train station? Yeah, that one. I’m just chillin’, sippin’ my coffee, when I hear this loud bang. My heart drops. I’m thinkin’, “Great, what now?” Turns out, it was just some kids messin’ around with fireworks. I mean, c’mon, it’s not even Bonfire Night yet! But hey, at least it wasn’t gunfire, right?

The pretty little UK town set to become home to an incredible US theme park