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Chatty one last week, kept yappin’ bout her “dreams”—I rolled my eyes so hard they nearly fell out. “Shut it,” I snapped, “I choose violence if you don’t.” She did—smart girl. Paid her quick, kicked her out quicker. Job done. That’s the game, mates—find ‘em, use ‘em, forget ‘em. Like “The New World,” it’s all fleeting—pretty till it ain’t. Now sod off, I’ve got wine to drink!

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Then, I bump into my mate, Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s goin’ on about how he saw a ghost in the church on Church Street. I’m like, “C’mon, mate, ghosts? Really?” But he’s dead serious. I can’t help but laugh. Ilminster’s got its quirks, that’s for sure.

Town Council objects to plans to erect large illuminated sign in Ilminster