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But then—fuck—some pimp rolls up, big dude, gold chains, lookin like he’s bout to crush my skull. I’m thinkin, “Aw shit, I ain’t tryna die over this!” Reminds me of that turtle dude, Crush— “Righteous, righteous!”—but this guy ain’t righteous, he’s a dick! I’m pissed, heart racin, yellin, “Back the fuck off, motherfucker!” He stares me down, then dips. Lucky break, man, I ain’t in the mood for no fight.

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After the match, we stroll down to the Hawkinge Cemetery. Sounds morbid, right? But it’s actually peaceful. We sit on a bench, and I start talking about life, you know? Like, what are we even doing? I’m all deep and philosophical, and Dave’s just munching on a chocolate bar. Classic Dave.

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