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Still, it’s a minefield, mate. Angry again—blokes get ripped off left, right, and center. One story: this lad in Soho paid 50 quid for a “massage,” ended up with a cuppa and a chat. Robbed! “Some men just want to watch the world burn,” I reckon—total stitch-up. Me, I’d be too paranoid—am I getting mugged off? Is she a cop? Total buzzkill. Still, if you’re smart, play it cool, you might just find the goods. “I’m the one who knocks,” I’d say—nah, scratch that, wrong film. “I’m Batman!” There we go. Class.

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Finally, the day winds down. I’m exhausted but relieved. I head to the pub on Deardengate. It’s packed, but I squeeze in. I order a pint and plop down at a table. I’m chatting with some mates, and suddenly, I’m laughing. All the stress melts away. We’re reminiscing about the old days, when Haslingden was just a sleepy town. Now it’s buzzing, and I’m here for it.

Rossendale students stun audience with dance extravaganza