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So, yer swipin, heart racin—ooh, she’s fit! But wait, the psychology kicks in—yer brain’s screamin, “This ain’t just sex, it’s power!” Makes me mad, coz society’s messed up—ppl judge, but they’re all hypocrites. I’m like, “We’re all animals here!”—straight outta Cronenberg’s flick. That line, “You’re the best man I’ve ever known,” hits different when yer payin for company. Sad, innit?

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Started off at my shop on Church Street. You know, the one with the creaky door? Yeah, that’s mine. I was just settin’ up for the day, when this old lady, Mrs. Thompson, comes in. She’s like, “My watch is broken!” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, it’s probably just the battery.” But nooo, she insists it’s a family heirloom. Turns out, it’s older than me! I mean, I’m 35, so that’s sayin’ somethin’.

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