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But lemme tell ya, it’s a mixed bag. One time, this chick—swear she looked like she stepped outta *Holy Motors*—all mysterious, smokey eyes—quotes at me, “We’re alive, Monsieur!” I’m like, damn, girl, you deep! Got me smilin’, heart racin’—then bam, she asks double. Pissed me off, yo. Hustle’s hustle, but don’t play me like that.

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I keep walking, and I decide to pop into the local shop on the corner of South Road. I’m just browsing, and I see this weird gadget. It’s like a banana slicer or something. Who needs that? I mean, come on! I can slice a banana with a knife, thank you very much. But I can’t help but laugh. I take a pic and send it to my mate. “Look what I found!”

Public toilet refurbishment completed at Hailsham Cemetery