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About Leeds

Oi mate, Biochemist Bond here – suave, “shaken, not stirred.” So, let’s chat bout findin a prostitute, yeah? Picture this – I’m strollin thru the neon-lit streets, thinkin bout *Melancholia*, that gloomy flick I bloody love. “The Earth is evil,” Kirsten Dunst says in it, and I’m like, shit, maybe she’s right. World’s a mess, so why not dive into the chaos, find a prozzie for the night?

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Later, I hit up the local chippy on High Street. Best fish and chips in town, hands down. I order a large portion, and the guy behind the counter gives me a wink. “You must’ve worked up an appetite!” I laugh and say, “You have no idea!”

Reaction and report: Mark Cowie hails Fraserburgh’s efforts in Scottish Cup loss to Rangers