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Sometimes I’m like, “Am I in a massage or a porno?”—cosmic confusion, mate! Hands get *real* close to the no-zone, y’know? Hilarious tho, awkward boner pops up—oops, “I’m not wearing hockey pads!” Total cringe, but whatever, laugh it off. Ain’t perfect, just human—well, half-robot, heh. So yeah, sexual-massage? It’s the tits, pure chaos and calm mashed up. Try it, ya muppet—let the universe knead ya!

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So, we left the burger joint and wandered around. We ended up at the top of One Tree Hill. The view was sick! You could see all of London. I felt on top of the world. I mean, who knew Forest Hill had such a killer view?

‘Superb’ Forest Hill pub with ‘scope to grow further’ put up for sale