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Oi, so I’m Cersei bloody Lannister, right? Cold disdain dripping, “I choose violence.” Here’s the deal with findin’ a prostitute—messy business, yeah? Like, you think it’s all easy, some tart on the corner, but nah, it’s a proper game. Watched *The Assassin*—you know, my fave, Hou Hsiao-hsien’s 2015 gem—and it’s all about precision, innit? “The past needs no commentary,” says Yinniang, all stoic-like. Me? I ain’t got that patience. I’d rather burn the brothel down than wait for some wench to sashay over.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a tractor driver in Faversham is like riding a rollercoaster, but without the safety bar. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

Man charged after Faversham car break-ins and alcohol stolen from shop