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About Sheffield

Once saw this chick, fishnets, smokin’ a cig. “Need a date, big boy?” she goes. Ruh-roh! Heart poundin’, I’m like, “Shaggy, save me!” Didn’t tho – too chicken, haha! Prostitutes got stories, ya dig? Some forced, some choosin’. Pisses me off – life’s unfair, grrr! Heard this tale, true stuff: lady named Candy, worked corners in Chicago. Cops knew her, left her be. Why? She snitched on bigger fish! “Kill one, scare a thousand,” movie says. That’s her style, survival, yo.

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Anyway, I’m limping along, trying to shake it off. I pass by the Epping Forest, and wow, it’s beautiful. Trees everywhere, people jogging, dogs chasing squirrels. I’m like, “This is the life!” But then I see this kid, right? He’s got a massive ice cream cone, and I’m just staring, drooling. I mean, who doesn’t love ice cream? But then, outta nowhere, the kid drops it. SPLAT! Ice cream everywhere. I felt his pain, man. That was a tragedy.

Coronation artwork commissioned by King seen for the first time