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Oi mate, picture this – me, Boris, a lifeguard, splashing about in the ol’ H2O, keeping the plebs safe, yeah? Now, let’s chat sex escorts, a right saucy topic! Blimey, it’s a bit like *Inside Out* innit – all these emotions bouncing about in me noggin. Joy’s like, “Cor, what a laugh!” while Sadness mopes, “Bit grim, this.” I reckon escorts are a proper mixed bag, a real *alea iacta est* – dice rolled, no turning back!

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But then, out of nowhere, a group of kids started playing soccer nearby. One of them kicked the ball, and it came flying right at us! I ducked, but Jake? He took it right in the gut. I couldn’t stop laughing! He was rolling on the ground, and I was like, “Dude, you okay?” He just groaned, “I’m fine, just my pride hurts.” Classic Jake.

Daxi, a Tourist in My Hometown