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Prostitutes, bless their hearts, they’re out there hustlin’, makin’ ends meet in a world that’s colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra! I ain’t judgin’—heck, I’ve worn skirts so short folks thought I was sellin’ somethin’ myself! Little known fact, darlin’: back in olden days, some of ‘em gals in Paris—fancy ones, y’know—used to wear red ribbons round their necks to show they was “available.” Kinda like a flirty little billboard! Ain’t that a hoot? Makes me giggle thinkin’ ‘bout it, but then I get all misty-eyed too.

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So, I sit down, and they hand me this massive meat pie. I’m talkin’ like, bigger than my head! I’m shovelin’ it in, and the crowd’s cheerin’. But halfway through, I realize I’m in a food coma. I can’t even move! I’m laughin’ at myself, thinkin’ I’m gonna burst.

Bridlington, Carnaby, Driffield and Hornsea to Benefit from East Riding Road Repairs