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About London

So, I’m strolling, right? Dodging sketchy dudes, eyes peeled. Little known fact – back in Rome, gladiators banged prostitutes all the time. Brothels right by the Colosseum! History’s nasty, bro, gets me hyped. I’m jazzed up thinking – sex, danger, survival, y’know? Zen pause. “The cows never came home,” like Lynch says – chaos everywhere.

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First off, I’m a document specialist, which sounds fancy but really just means I deal with papers all day. Boring, I know. But today? Today was a whole different story. I was on my way to the office on South Street, and I’m just minding my own business when I see this massive traffic jam. Like, come on! It’s Dorking, not London!

Disruptions to SWR services in Guildford and Woking as buses replace some trains over bank holiday