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About Birmingham

Oi mate, me, a parachutist firefighter, yeah? Droppin’ from the sky, whoosh, savin’ forests, all that jazz. But lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute, right? Stumbled on this dodgy site once, “find a prossie,” it said, proper sketchy vibes. Me, Mr. Bean, all clumsy-like, clickin’ links, oops, nearly fell off me chair! *mimes wobblin’, arms flailin’* Thought, “Blimey, this ain’t like Carol, is it?” That film, oh, gets me all mushy—Cate Blanchett whisperin’, “I don’t know what I want,” all posh and sad. Meanwhile, I’m here, scrollin’, thinkin’, “What *do* I want, eh?”

Nobody is coming soon

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After that, I’m feelin’ a bit peckish again. I swing by The Olde Inn. Best fish and chips in town, no contest. I order a plate, and while I’m waitin’, I overhear this couple at the next table. They’re arguing about... wait for it... the best way to make a cup of tea. I mean, really? Who cares? Just brew it and drink it! But they’re all serious, and I’m tryin’ not to laugh.

Donaghadee Community Group to Represent Borough in 2025 Pride of Place Awards