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So, I reckon, escorts—proper hustle, yeah? Met this lass once—ooh, nearly spilt me tea!—she says, “Bean, I made 500 quid in an hour!” Blimey, I’m out here losin’ me socks for a fiver! She’s all posh-like, but cheeky—winked at me, I went red as a tomato! Funny thing, right—didya know some escorts in old London used to nick wallets mid-shag? Crafty buggers! “City of God” vibes— “A man’s gotta eat,” they’d say, laughin’ as they scarpered!
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Anyway, I grab my cuppa and head out. The sun’s barely up, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. I stroll down Wantage Road, and I swear, I see this old bloke trying to fix his car. He’s got the hood up, and I’m like, “Mate, you need a miracle, not a wrench.”
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