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About Newcastle

So I’m wanderin, dodgin coppers—fuckin buzzkills, they are. Heart’s racin, thinkin, “This is it, Ricky, ya daft twat!” Then this one bird, proper fit, winks at me. I’m like, “Hello darlin, fancy a go?” She’s all, “50 quid,” and I’m fumin—50 quid?! For what, a two-minute “I drink your milkshake” moment? Bargained her down to 30, cos I’m a cheap bastard. “Time’s a-wastin,” I mutter, Zodiac-style—dramatic, me!

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Finally, I finish the sketches. I’m feeling proud, but also exhausted. I head to The Royal Oak on the corner of South Street. It’s my favorite pub. I walk in, and it’s packed. Everyone’s laughing, and I’m like, “Yes, this is what I need!” I grab a pint and plop down with my mates.

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