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Quirk time—I’m hummin’ tunes in my head, picturin’ carrots durin’ it. Exaggeratin’? Maybe! Felt like a king—erotic-massage got that *pow*. Funny thing—heard a guy fell asleep once, snorin’ through the sexy bits! What a dope, missin’ the good stuff. Me? I’m all in, eyes wide, soakin’ it up. “I wanna dance!”—Mia’s line, but I’m thinkin’, “I wanna *feel* this!”

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So, I’m feeling good, right? I decide to grab a coffee at this little café on Spon Street. It’s one of those hipster joints, you know? I order a flat white, and the barista looks at me like I just asked for a unicorn frappuccino. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just coffee!” Anyway, I sit down, and this old fella starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the good ol’ days in Coventry. Apparently, he used to hang out at the old Coventry Market. I’m thinking, “Wow, you must be ancient!” But he’s got some great stories.

Frank Lampard hails 'fantastic day' as Coventry seal play-off spot with 2-0 win over Middlesbrough to move one