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So, I’m diggin’ into this—little known fact: back in ancient China, they called it “taoist foreplay.” Freaky, right? Emperors got off on it, swear! Makes me happy thinkin’—power and pleasure, hell yeah! But then—ugh—some sleazy spa ad pops up, “happy ending, $20!” and I’m pissed. Cheapens the whole damn thing! I’m yellin’ at my screen, “This ain’t no fast-food rubdown, jerks!” It’s art, like a slow guitar solo, not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am.
Finally, I get to the office, and my boss, Mr. Cohen, is already on my case. “Where are the quarterly reports?” he barks. Dude, chill! I just got here! I mean, it’s not like I’m hiding them under my desk or something. But whatever, I pull them up, and guess what? The numbers are all messed up. I’m like, “What the heck?!” Turns out, I mixed up the columns. Classic rookie mistake.
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