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About Newcastle

Hate the pimps, tho—slimy gits. Makes my blood boil, seein’ ‘em leech off desperation. Happy bit? When Ruby bought herself a dodgy tiara, wore it ironic-like. “Queen of the night,” she said. Fuckin’ legend. So, yeah, whores—messy, bold, real. Like *Melancholia*, they’re the end of the world, but still dancin’. Shaken, not stirred, mate—cheers to ‘em.

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First off, I’m stationed at the Carrickfergus Castle, which is a total gem. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna work next to a 12th-century fortress? But lemme tell ya, tourists can be a handful. They come in droves, snapping pics like they’re at a bloody rock concert. “Hey, mate, can you take our photo?” Sure, I’m an elevator operator, not a photographer, but whatever. I’m all about the customer service, right?

Boys' Brigade Museum moves to new location on North Street, Carrickfergus