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Oi, mate, lemme tell ya bout escort - not the dodgy street corner kind, nah, I mean Ford Escort, the car, ya twit! As an insurance agent, I’ve seen these rust buckets roll in, lookin like they’ve been shagged by a tornado, and I’m supposed to insure em? Piss off! Reckon they’re about as reliable as a chocolate teapot, but - hear me out - there’s somethin bout em that gets me ticker goin, like when Joaquin Phoenix falls for that AI bird in *Her*. “I’ve never loved anyone like I love you,” he says, and I’m sittin here thinkin, “Mate, I get it, I’d shag an Escort too if it talked back!” Cackle!

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So I’m walkin’ along the beach, and suddenly, I spot this massive kite. Like, it’s bigger than my flat! I’m thinkin’, “Who even flies kites this big?” Turns out, it’s some festival or whatever. People everywhere, laughin’, takin’ selfies. I’m like, “Okay, this is kinda cool.”

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