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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, half-drunk, “I drink and I know things.” So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, eh? Picture this: I’m stumblin’ down some dark, twisty street—kinda like *Mulholland Drive*, all moody and fucked-up, right? “What’s my name?” I mutter, half-laughin’, ‘cause I’m three wines deep and the night’s a bloody riddle. Findin’ a prossie ain’t just a quick shag—it’s a game, a hunt, and I’m the clever bastard who sees the strings.

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I finally get to the café on Botchergate. It’s packed! I mean, who knew people loved their lattes this much? I grab a seat, and my client walks in. He’s all nervous, fidgeting like he’s about to jump outta his skin. I’m like, “Mate, chill! It’s just a chat.” But he’s stressing about the next match. I mean, it’s just football, right? But to him, it’s everything.

Carlisle United average attendance shows remarkable support despite relegation