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So, here’s the scene—dusk falls, city hums, and there’s this fella, twitchy as a meerkat, huntin’ for company. Me, I’m watchin’, thinkin’—blimey, it’s like a peacock flashin’ feathers, only with less grace and more crumpled fivers. Didya know, right, back in Victorian days, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Poetic, that—makes it sound like a bleedin’ tragedy, not a transaction. And here we are, 2025, still at it—humanity’s oldest gig, they say. Ain’t that a kicker?

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Anyway, I keep walking, trying to shake off the chaos. I hit up the Bowdon Church, which is just stunning. I mean, the architecture is on point. But then I see this group of kids playing football on the lawn. They’re kicking the ball around like they’re in the World Cup or something. One of them kicks it too hard, and BAM! Right into the church window. I’m like, “Oh no, they’re gonna get grounded for life.” But the vicar just laughs it off. I’m standing there, mouth agape. “Is this real life?”

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